Blue Happiness
Blue Happiness is my first friend
leaving for her dream college.
Its my brothers thirteenth birthday
and the anniversary of my mother being cancer free.
Its packing a suitcase,
and the smell of my old perfume.
The confidence boost of using retinol,
evident in the mannerisms of all the older women in my life.
Its putting on makeup,
and my teachers praising me for being so well behaved.
My favourite song playing on the car radio,
relatives saying I’ve grown so big.
The pleasant conversation
filling the silence after an argument.
Each one of these happy moments,
tainted
by that familiar blue feeling
that somehow manages to sneak its way in every time.
The feeling of being happy,
but sad, all at once.
By Daisy Carroll
Really loved this poem. A lovely celebration of what it means to just savour small moments, ‘my favourite song playing on the car radio,’ ‘relatives saying I’ve grown so big.’ What I loved about that was ‘my favourite song playing on the car radio,’ the ‘o’ sounds and then the ‘a’ sounds of radio and saying. You’ve got this really natural gift for subtle, softer stitching that happens in a poem, which has nothing to do with rhyme, it’s more to do with vowel sounds and assonance. You did that with dream and thirteenth. I think my favourite line was ‘the confidence boost of using retinol, evident in the mannerisms of all the older women in my life.’ A real sense that in the middle of your sadness this feeling of being happy but sad all at once, there’s something profound about your connection as a young person getting used to using retinol and the magic spell that it provides, and how you know that because that secret’s been shared almost like tribal knowledge passed down from the older women in your clan. Really nice poem, well done Daisy.