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Blue Happiness

 

Blue Happiness is my first friend

leaving for her dream college.

 

Its my brothers thirteenth birthday

and the anniversary of my mother being cancer free.

 

Its packing a suitcase,

and the smell of my old perfume.

 

The confidence boost of using retinol,

evident in the mannerisms of all the older women in my life.

 

Its putting on makeup,

and my teachers praising me for being so well behaved.

 

My favourite song playing on the car radio,

relatives saying I’ve grown so big.

 

The pleasant conversation

filling the silence after an argument.

 

Each one of these happy moments,

tainted

 

by that familiar blue feeling

that somehow manages to sneak its way in every time.

 

The feeling of being happy,

but sad, all at once.

 

By Daisy Carroll