The Frozen Fields
We were riding through the frozen fields in a wagon
At dawn the sun was coming out over the fields
Melting the frozen grass. There were two black stallions
Pulling the wagon through the fields of luscious grass
Stopping for a drink at the frozen water-tanks
by Conor Bailey
Well done, Conor. You have some really strong imagery here which enable readers absorb the scene as they make the poem visible to readers. Each line has its strength: frozen fields wagon / frozen grass / two black stallions / luscious grass / water tanks
The statement is simple; it is made alive, meaningful and fully recognisable to readers. Sometimes simplicity is difficult to make strong, but you make this very strong with your choices. It could have been easy to add lots of other ideas and visuals, but the poem’s strength resides in the overall simplicity of your images and statements.
Your thinking process is very good and leads you to an excellent poem which appeals for both its ideas and its rhythmic flow.