THE MARVELLOUS
Out of marvellous he had known
Was a known lady named Emma
Who had a sister named Lauren
They were known for their cousin Tom
Whose favourite tractor was the 724
Which had been on the mower all year
She was lower than me have van
On the back of me caravan
I would lie on top of my caravan
Like I was gold on the wallet of the eater
By Mikey Saunders
The final two lines are terrific. Like the poem’s title, they are ‘marvellous’! That title is most effective as an invitation to readers to read the poem with a sense of pleasure and expectation. The words ‘gold’ , ‘wallet’ and ‘eater’ make for a powerful closing line.
All in all, a confident poem with strong images which leave readers with satisfaction, and throughout, your line rhythms are effective and confident. Well done!