Beady Black Eyes
It’s significance isn’t known to anyone but me,
Intended to be thrown out it could consider itself lucky,
It’s small furry frame easily has lived till its forties,
It’s coat could be compared to something of a yorkie’s,
A small brown bear in crested with an oval button,
It’s tag in another language likely depicting cotton,
Only one beady black eye still remains,
And to think of all the memories it still retains,
My dad’s childhood teddy bear,
Which he has all but forgotten.
By Harijs Bluzma
I love how the poem reveals the image to us slowly, really piquing the reader’s curiosity to discover what object the writer is describing. You choose your details with care, and as the poem progresses these details build towards a beautifully vivid picture of this beloved but slightly battered bear. The discovery that the toy belongs to a father who has forgotten it adds a poignant note to the poem that will stay with the reader for a long time. In terms of suggestions for the poem, I’d just be careful of stray apostrophes finding their way into your ‘Its’, and I’m not sure you need the word ‘in’ before ‘crested’ as I think there’s a lovely flow to the line ‘A small brown bear crested with an oval button’. Really engaging and moving work!