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I knocked on future’s door

She embraced me with a hug
She held my hand and wiped my tears
And made me feel at home

She smelled like a warm cup of tea
Like friendship and happiness mixed with glee
She showed me a sparkling mirror
With a hint of motivation and inspiration

My heart slowed and I became eerily calm
As I knew at once everything would work out well
I was here and I was shown my existence was worthy
All I have to do is believe in her and in me

I rang the bell of the past
She fell down on her knees
Her voice broke so softly
And I could no longer see

The way I used to curl into a ball
Terrified of how the world greeted me
Afraid to close my eyes just in case
Always waiting for my next mistake

No amount of sorries were enough
Tears dried up, only to fall again
Terrified of everything around me
Reading was my only way to cope

The present is here with me now
Keeping me warm and safe
Filling me with love and joy
Letting me know everything is okay

Breathe in and be calm
For the air is clean and still
Holding you dearly like a soft teddy bear
Knowing it’s not quite safe to let go

One day it will be
And we are slowly getting there
When you feel afraid all you have to do
Is look around and remind yourself people love you.

About the Author
I have written a few short stories and have published articles on spunout.ie and I also really enjoy writing poetry.

Editor's Note
This is a very moving, poignant poem – it brings the reader on a whirlwind journey through those three places we spend all of our time thinking about – the past, the future and the present. I think that the poet has done a very clever thing in bringing the effects of these three states of mind to life, almost like the three ghosts in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol: the warm embrace of a hopeful, idealised future; the difficult memories and regrets of childhood; and the healing calm that comes from living in the present moment. The descriptions in the long, flowing sentences are lavish, vivid and powerful, and the final message is one which I find particularly resonant in these times.